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If you find yourself on the market in your 40s, wading into the app-dating world can feel daunting.

Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of , that she loved her nieces and nephews but did not want children of her own.

), but selective element can be a major plus, since you know everyone else on the app went through the same thing. According to their website, find someone who is already on the app to invite you. According to Lisa Bahar, a California-based licensed marriage and family therapist, super-specific apps are great for older crowds with firmer routines in their daily lives.

If you know what you’re looking for, which by now you likely do, there’s no reason to waste time. Bumble is hugely popular, but the options for the over-40 crowd are fewer than in other age groups.

Depending on who it’s coming from, this can be flattering or very insulting (especially the friends who urge you to compromise).

But remember this: It’s only human for people to want to feel validated in their own life decisions by seeing you reflect them with your own.

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